I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
