you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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