In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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