I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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