I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
