if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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