I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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