Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
