Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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