His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
worst night to have a conscience
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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