O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
