great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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