So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
