i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
