in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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