I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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