Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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