I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
