I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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