I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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