thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you still have your period?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
