Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
