Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My vagina is officially offended.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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