OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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