I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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