Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
