I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
