dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
