Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
