can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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