Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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