Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
