He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
