all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
