im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
