Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
