I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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