He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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