no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
