So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
