your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
