no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
