nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
