You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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