Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
