I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
