My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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