Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
