I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My vagina is officially offended.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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