it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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