I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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