Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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