I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
