Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
