People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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