He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my being single is dangerous.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
