I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
