I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
