Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why do cheetos always look like penises
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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