wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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